NBRSS 2009 3Gracious 1

2009-04-07T23:03:00.001-07:00

Mr Chua's ENGLISH LESSON (:

Original Story:

It was close to midnight.
John went to the pub to have fun.
He went there with his friends.
When he reached there, he wanted to dance.
He became really high.
There were many couples closely embracing each other.
He danced very well.
He danced to the beat of the music.
His admirer went up to him and wanted to dance with him but suddenly he saw his ex-girlfriend.
The three of them sat down and drank beer together.
As time passed, his ex-girlfriend got drunk.
They booked a room in a five-star hotel.
At the lobby, he saw his mother with a man he did not know.
His mother asked him, “What are you doing here?”
He answered, “I just wanted to drop my ex-girlfriend in a room.”
When they decided to go to the room, he saw his father with another woman.
They thought that the woman was his father’s mistress but it turned out to be his secretary.
They attended a business meeting so they were seen together.
His father also asked him the same question as his mother.
He ignored his father and went into the room.
He slammed the door and brought a warm towel for his ex-girlfriend.
His ex-girlfriend vomited on him when he was putting the towel on her.
Suddenly, the door opened and he saw his admirer.
She was covered in blood and it shocked him.

Points to Note (from Mr Chua):
1) Make use of what we have learnt today. Be careful not to start any sentences with conjunctions and be careful about how you use pronouns.
2) Take note of your tenses. Using the past tense is always the safest.
3) This story sounds very disjointed right? This is because in such a short passage, there are EIGHT characters (John, ex-girlfriend, admirer, John’s friends, John’s mother, the unidentified man, John’s father, the secretary). In addition, there are THREE settings (pub, lobby, room). Each point is not properly elaborated enough, therefore the feeling that it is a disjointed story. Take note of this when you are writing your essays. If there is something that you are writing for the sake of writing (meaning, the story still makes sense even if I take the paragraph out), I rather you not write it at all. You will just be wasting time and effort writing something that is not needed in the essay.
4) I like the sudden twist in the story (it was quite clever given the amount of time you were given to think about the continuation). Twists in the story make reading interesting, but be careful not to twist the story too much that it becomes unbelievable (e.g. a car suddenly transforming into an aeroplane – like… DUH.).
5) Finally, and most importantly, no writing about ghosts or objectionable material like sex and drugs.

Possible Ideas (on how to improve the story):
1) Expand more on the sights and sounds of the pub. Hadi’s sentence might sound a little sleazy, but I think that he was trying to describe what was happening in the pub and it was a good try!
2) You can try talking more about John’s parents. They both seem to be busy people so could it be because of their busy lifestyles that John frequents pubs instead of spending it with his family?
3) You can even turn this into a love story, about how John still loves his ex-girlfriend therefore taking good care of her and not caring about the admirer.
4) Why was the admirer covered in blood?

2009-01-22T00:19:00.000-08:00

Why i like obama by WENCHANG.

Firstly, Obama is a dark tanned man who has an oval face and expressive eyes. He is well-groom and muscular. I admire his leadership skills and the confidence. Due to his lack of experience in governing, he undertakes a presidential internship to prove to the people that he has the capabilities to lead the nation and at the same time he gained more knowledge over politics, this shows his passion for knowledge. Integrity is an important factor and I felt that this is shown within Barack Obama He is accommodating and ambitious which makes him a good leader.

2009-01-21T17:38:00.003-08:00

Why i like obama by PRATEEP.

Obama’s view of seeing thing is different from many other people.
His experiences about political and war make him appreciate American freedom. He also look at America from different point of view,especially how other countries see USA.
Obama has the abilities to lead the countries out from difficult time.He wants to improve relationship between different races in US and focus on healthcare. He believes government must first make health care affordable before implementing a mandate, this shows that he care for people.

2009-01-21T17:38:00.002-08:00

Why i like obama by DANYANG.

Obama is the first African American to be elected president of the United states. I think almost every African American people are proud of him.

Obama has a short curly hair, bushy eyebrows, bright eyes.

And also I know from his wife’s speech he is a responsible man, he is really hard-working, for me the most important thing is : he is filial and respect his parents. This is the reason I want to marry Obama!!

2009-01-21T17:38:00.001-08:00

Obama is a winner (so am i) by NUR SUIADAH

Obama is the first African American to become the president of the United State.
He has a shinny high forehead which tells me that he is smart and
actually, he is not bald but his hair is extremely short.
He has an oval face shape and a high-bridged nose.
Apart from that, he also has a thick bushy eyebrows and maybe a curly eyelashes.
He is a dark complexion guy with high cheekbones. He also have small brown eyes.
I think, i can be a winner like Obama if i persist in everything that i do. Obama play his part very well in ensuring his country wellness.

2009-01-21T17:37:00.000-08:00

Why would i want to marry obama by CHEN SHUANG.

Every time and every place you can see a confident men. His name is Obama. He is the 44th president of USA . And he is a first black men president in USA. I feel he is very great. He break ice of the problem between white men and black men. I also very respect him. I would marry Obama because he is a confident men,he is a safety men

2009-01-21T17:35:00.000-08:00

Obama is a winner (so am i) by NUR AINI.

He is a winner because he is the first black
African-American President of the
united states of America.
He is very determine and hardworking

to achieve his goal.
I am a winner because i am inspired by him.
His attitude make me realise that determination
and hardwork will promise me success
and a good future.

He is a very well-known and powerful man.
He have an oval shape face with extremely
short hair, high forehead, long bushy eyebrows,
he have crows feet on his eyes a high bridged
nose, a wide smile with shiny white teeth,
high cheekbone and he is tanned.
HE IS HANDSOME!
~WHOO!!!!!

2009-01-21T17:34:00.003-08:00

Obama is a winner (so am i) by DAVID WILLIAM.

Barack Obama is the forty-fourth and current President of the United States. He did many elections to be how he is now. He had failed many times, but he didn’t give up easily. He continued to work very hard, because he determined to be President of United States.

Panda rawkzZ!! (:

2009-01-21T17:34:00.002-08:00

Why I would marry Obama by DANYANG.

In November, Obama defeated all others, to be American 44th president.He is also the first black president of America. He graduated form Columbia University in 1983,majoring in political science with a specialization in outside relations. He is also very rich and full of confidence on whatever he dose. He is so smart, so rich, so succeed, why you wouldn’t marry him?:)

2009-01-21T17:34:00.001-08:00

Why i like obama by SWEE SIANG.

Barack Obama is the first black president of the united states of America. He has a high forehead and receding hairline. Hi is a smart and calm man with expressive eyes. He is responsible and knows what his residents need and give them a better life in this bad economic situation. He is my role model.

2009-01-21T17:34:00.000-08:00

Why would i marry him by ANGEL.

Barack Obama, the 44th president of unite state of America, the first president with black shin as well,with sparkling eyes and thick brows. The reason why I want to marry with him because he is a really good man. During he run in an election, his grandmother was really sick, he stopped his work immediately and went to Hawaii to visited her.From this I know he will be a good husband.

2009-01-21T17:31:00.000-08:00

Why i like obama by SIANG YUNG.

Obama is a winner because he deliberately take his time to think before he say anything. The slow deliberate thinking gives him time to make sure he say the appropriate words. He is also very calm, he never overreacts to possibly irritating questions and he never loses his cool when backed into a corner. He have a receding hairline which make him look trustworthy.

Have i written 50 words yes
Have i written i good English yes
Have i use 10 words from spelling no

2009-01-21T17:26:00.000-08:00

Why i want to marry obama by JUEYU.

I would want to marry Obama as he is rich and i want to inherit all his inheritance. I want a lot people to respect me. He is well-dressed and he is confident in whatever things that he do. He have a wide smile which look quite well. He also has a high-forehead which look very trust worthy.

Obama is a very well-known person. He have a oval shape face and a extremely short hair, bushy eyebrow, high cheekbones,high bridged nose, small eyes and he also have a very shiny forehead. He is tanned. He is also very determine in whatever he do.

2009-01-21T17:25:00.001-08:00

Why would i marry obama by DANDI.

I would marry Obama because he will not give up his own pride no matter what, and he also have plenty of confidence in the way he talks. He talks eloquently and persist in his goals. He has a pair of thick, bushy eyebrows, plus he has clear and expressive eyes, including his high-bridged nose. He's well-groomed, formal, plus he is muscular and strong.

SO I WILL LOVE HIM FOREVER!!!

2009-01-21T17:25:00.000-08:00

Obama is a winner and so am I by ERRA.

Talk about self-obsessed. But for the sake of Mr.Sim , I shall write anyway.

Barack Obama, the president of The United States Of America. He is a winner. He made headlines in the news for being the first African-American president. And push aside those horrible "White House Jokes" and get ready for Change.

I haven't thought of myself as a winner so I decided to come up with some whick-whack to finish this assignment. I am a winner because I have a black belt in being a Kleptomaniac and now I have more than enough pencils to chew on. And by chewing on pencils, I have overcome my hunger and lost five pounds.

And it is every girl's mission to loose weight. So I'm a winner!

2009-01-21T17:21:00.000-08:00

Why would i marry obama by SHUAI NAN.

He is the 44th U.S. president.His strong sense of responsibility, his strong, his kindness and his courage, Deeply attracted me.

It is no dispute that Barak Obama made his victory in the general election of the United States of America. Although Obama is a black, he represents the hope and confidence which meets the voters’ thirsty wish of changing. Charching performance and slogan makes increasing people to believe that the dream is not out of reach.

He has bushy eyebrows, curly hair, expressive and bright eyes ,hooked nose. The most important is he has luscious and thick mouth , when he smiled it was so nice .I like it so much..he is love, care for his family. His appearance with a smile to conquer a lot of people

obama's character is impeccable. He values honesty, hard work, and respectfulness toward others, including those with whom he disagrees. He won't lie to us and he won't run his government in secret.Obama believes in an inclusive form of politics. He wants to get people involved in the policy-making process. This is very difficult, but it must be done to make sure the public is educated on the issues, have a voice in policies that will affect them and that government remains accountable to the people. He will push us past the divisive politics of the past. His leadership will bring change, both because of who he is and how he will govern.

I like him ,so I want to marry obama.

2009-01-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

Why i like obama by HYUNMIN.

I like Obama, the President of America as he has arched, and thick eyebrows and big, bright, and expressive eyes that make his look well groomed. He’s first Afica-American with dark skin who became the president of America. Also he has suggested many wise opinions, which experts say that will help to revive the economy of America. I hope his strong hands and muscular legs with smart looks could help the economy of the USA.

1. Write in 50 words- Yes
2. Use 10 words from spelling list- Yes
3. Written in good English- No

2009-01-21T17:19:00.003-08:00

Obama is a winner (and so am I) by STEFFI.

Obama is the first black president of the
United States of America.
He has a high forehead which tells me
that he is smart.(like me)
He has a strong features and
professionally groomed.
He also have a thick bushy eyebrows
just like me. He has an oval face which has a
very wide smile. He has a dark complexion
just like me. He has curly eyelashes which makes his
small brown eyes more attractive. He also have a
high-bridged nose and a short dry hair which
makes his appeal more cooler.
He achieved his goal which is
becoming the president. And i think i can
reach my goal by striving and persisting hard
just like him. He cares about his country and its
economical problem now. He wants to solve his
country's problem swiftly. I can be just like him
by doing my work conscienciously.

2009-01-21T17:19:00.002-08:00

Why would i marry obama by MEY.

I would marry OBAMA because he is rich and now he is the president of the United State of America. He is so famous because he is the first blcak president of USA. He have a high- bridged nose and curly eye lashes. He have strong feature so that he can protect me. Not only that he also has a high cheekbones and crows feet ton his face which is look quite old.He has a thick bushy eyebrown, small brown eye and short dry hair. Nowaday he has the most powerful in USA so if i marry him i can have power to control a lot of things. I also can help him and give him ideas how to take care of the country.. haha

2009-01-21T17:19:00.001-08:00

Why would i marry obama by THEARY.

I would marry Obama =) This is because nowadays he is the most prominent president in American history and also the first black American president. He is the most powerful man and well known by million and billion people around the world. So if I would marry him, I would also become popular and well known person. He has a thick bushy eyebrows and a very nice oval face but there are crows feet on his face. He has a long curly eyelashes and small brown eyes. He is very attractive whenever he smile because he has a high cheekbones and high-bridged nose. His hair is not bald but it is extremely short and quite dry. He has a strong features which helps him to look more handsome. The most important thing is that he is very rich.

2009-01-21T17:19:00.000-08:00

Obama is a winner (and so am I) by MARTONO.

Obama is an african American to hold the office and he is current President of United States. He is high forehead with his thick eye brows, he is dark but strong and muscular. With his brown eyes, sharp nose, thick lips, and smart dressing , people believe that he is a good president so they vote for him as they think that he is the one that can give all the people in United States a sense of security.

2009-01-21T17:18:00.000-08:00

Why I want to marry Obama by TEESHA.

I actually really really don't want to marry Obama But since i'm forced to write this i shall make up some lies!

I want to marry Obama because i want to be the next Condaleeza Rice. NO. Actually i just want to marry him because I want to threaten him to write in his will that if he dies, i will be the next president of the united states of america.

And i'll be legendary too. I'll be the first Singaporean president of America. That would be awesome. And once i get him to write that in his will. I might murder him.

2009-01-21T17:17:00.000-08:00

Obama is a winner (so am I) by TIZANE TEO.

Obama is a winner and so am I! He is the most intriguing of the ''undercleared candidatesfor the 2008 US presidential race. He is the first black president in US.

He also has the best speech at the convention in 2004. He is a man with principles, also a self-made man, eloquent, sincere, compassionate and reasoned. So if he is a winner, i am also a winner! =D

2009-01-21T17:16:00.001-08:00

Obama is a winner ( so am I ) by LE CONG THANH.

Barack Obama is the first African-American Presedent of USA . He is a smart and calm man with expressive eyes . After graduated he worked as a community organizers and pracriced as a civil rights attorney . He knows what are his resident need and give them the better life in this bad economic time . He is a good image for me to follow .

2009-01-21T17:16:00.000-08:00

Why would i marry obama by SHARON WONG.

I would marry Obama because he had thick bushy eyebrows, which I just simply adore! I also like the way that he governs the government/United States of America, and he has luscious lips. He is also the first black president of the United States, meaning that he can achieve his goals, and he has persistance. That is why I would marry Obama, although she has a wife. -.-

2009-01-20T21:18:00.000-08:00

Obama is a winner (so am i) by ??

Barack Obama is currently the 44th president of United States. He is the first African american to hold the office. He is 48 years this year. He have a high forehead which makes him look very intelligent and trustworthy. His hair are short and grey. He have bushy and thick eyebrows and he is well-groomed makes him look manly .

CHECK-LIST

1)Is this about 50 words long ans:yes!!

2)Use 10 words from your spelling list ans :no

3)Written in good english ans: ???

amanda(:

2009-01-20T21:17:00.000-08:00

Obama is a winner (so am i) by CARMEN TONG.

Obama won lots of award,he is a winner but so am i! He has oval -shap face,button nose,amazing golfer,arched eyebrows. He is hairy and muscular.He has a high forehead and is well-groomed and dress smartly. Obama is confident in whatever he does.

2009-01-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

tree Gracious OWNS YOU ALL ! (: